Repossessing the Longed-for Parents
Winter, 2014
When Pete Seeger died, I mourned for him in a way I had not mourned for my own parents. I realized that in my heart, he was my longed-for father: gentle and loving, fiercely committed to just causes, and humbly offering his incredible talents to better the world, he inspired me as a young person to find self-expression through music. I began a mandala to honor his life and his passing.
Thus began a long journey of discovery and healing about Parenting: how I was parented, how I wished I had been parented, and how I parented my own child, as well as other people in my life, and even my creative "babies" - the books, mandalas, and other works I have brought into the world. Ultimately, it became about parenting myself -- taking the best of my parents, my mentors, and my heroes, and letting them live in my own heart and mind.
In the process, I found myself embracing what gifts my parents did have to offer, and accepting that they were wounded and imperfect human beings who did the best they could.
Next to an old photo of my father with me as a baby, I placed a seahorse.
Later someone told me seahorses are one of the few species
in which the male parent guards the babies.